Who Would Have Thought...

I've been thinking about what to write today. The thing I keep coming back to is Hayden (of course). I never knew that I would love something this much. Sure you love your child, but to actually like him and want to be around him because he's the greatest thing ever? Who would have thought. Everyone says it, I just never thought I'd be the one saying it. I thought it would be cool to have a kid, but never knew that I would laugh as much, worry as much, give as much and genuinely be happy this much. I crave being with him, just to see what he is going to do next and when he does the smallest thing, I just laugh with such ease. Just an absolutely joyful experience. He brings more joy to me than I ever thought.

I feared that I would lose my independence and "me" time when I had a child because you are never alone. However, it hit me today. I will always have someone to talk to. For example, we went shopping this morning and I tried on this shirt and it looked stupid. I looked down at Hayden and he was smiling. I said, "mom looks stupid in this doesn't she?" He smiled again. It dawned on me, I'll always have someone to talk to. So, goodbye independence, I'd rather have someone to talk to. Especially, when he's so adorable.