Looking back and I'm chopped liver

Hayden moved up to the "creeper" room. He's not an "infant" anymore, so he's now with the big kids that are crawling and walking. I went to check on him at lunch since it was his first day. He was happy to see me, but quickly made me feel as though he had much better and more important things to do. "Quit kissing me, no, I don't want to look outside with you. Put me down! I have people to see and things to play with." I am happy that he is so happy and excited to be in the new room, but felt like I was chopped liver. It's just that he's growing up so quickly. I looked at some of the past videos of him when he was younger. I was STUNNED to see how far he's come. I have amnesia about most of his life. Lack of sleep will do that to you. I look back and think, "oh, God, we had no idea what we were doing." Oh well, he survived. ha ha. Enjoy your week.

Things Change

Some of my fondest memories are of my time in California. I had a lot of fun, made some great friends, and it was great. I always looked back with a sort of longing of a life that I gave up. It was the right thing to do and I don't regret it. Each time I went back, I got that same feeling of how much fun I had, how many things I experienced (how many times I should have been arrested), etc. This time was different. I went back and saw it through older, more experienced eyes. It wasn't a longing for California anymore, it was a peace. I had my time, had my fun and now I love where I am now. Both in my life in South Carolina (LOVE my state) and the place I am inside. I guess it was a little different because I left my family behind this trip. I left a little baby to be cared for by his father and his grandma. (Yes, they all survived). They can keep California and it's experiences, I wanted to be home with my family.

Everyone kept asking me if I missed the baby. You know, I did, but I didn't. I feel bad saying this, but I went in to work mode and survival mode. I think it would have been a whole lot harder if he picked up the phone when I called and said, "Mommy, I miss you, come home!" However, it all got really hard when I returned home after 5 long days. I walked in the door and he gave me a blank look. I thought he forgot about me and my heart broke. Then he smiled and when I picked him up, he put his arms around my neck (pulled my hair really), opened his mouth as wide as he could and tried to eat my face. I think this is his way of hugging and kissing. We did that for about 10 minutes straight until I finally cried. How can something so simple mean so much? For all of you who have known me for this long.... Robert melted my heart, but Hayden turned it to mush. No more hard Molly, I'm all squishy over these boys.

I did leave SC last Sunday with a nice cold from work, which is still with me to this day. I successfully gave it to Robert who dealt with it all week. I went to the Doctor on Saturday and I have a double ear infection. NICE. So, I'm glad that I went, I loved seeing it and my dear friend Jody and her beautiful family, but I'm glad to be back on Eastern time and the Atlantic Ocean. Most of all, I'm glad I have the family I do.

Shameless Plug

Okay, if you're in the beautiful downtown of Grand Rapids, Michigan (some of you live there, some of you visit there, some of you have never heard of the town), you MUST go to a sports bar called TAPS. I found out last night that on of my dear friend Sarah's, little brother, Eric, now owns it. So, you must tell all your friends to go and spend a lot of money.

If you see Eric, don't tell him you know me, I promise he won't give you free drinks for knowing me, he will probably charge you double. However, if you do go and see Eric, send a picture of your drunk butt with him and you'll get a prize (it has to be the correct Eric, not just a random Eric you ran in to -- nice try).

Enjoy.

Valentine's Day Mushy

I forgot it was Valentine's until Robert gave me a great card this morning. I suck. So I created my own card, via email, to him. It's a song and though I cut some of the words out because they didn't apply, I thought it was fitting. That makes up for me being absent minded right? Right.

Can you name this song?


...Oh I love you when I forget about me
I want to be strong I want to laugh along
I want to belong to the living
Alive, alive, I want to get up and jive
I want to wreck my stockings in some juke box dive
Do you want - do you want - do you want
To dance with me baby
Do you want to take a chance
On maybe finding some sweet romance with me baby
Well, come on

All I really really want our love to do
Is to bring out the best in me and in you too
All I really really want our love to do
Is to bring out the best in me and in you
I want to talk to you, I want to shampoo you
I want to renew you again and again
Applause, applause - life is our cause
When I think of your kisses
My mind see-saws ....


.....I want to have fun, I want to shine like the sun
I want to be the one that you want to see
I want to knit you a sweater
Want to write you a love letter
I want to make you feel better
I want to make you feel free
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm,
Want to make you feel free
I want to make you feel free

Irish Lad & Auntie T

Teresa came to visit this past weekend. We had a good time and it's always nice to be around dear friends. It's especially nice to see it when your friends go through something and bounce back to themselves with their feet firmly planted. Sister, you did it and I'm proud of you.

I don't have a whole lot to say these days. I am dealing with something that is making me withdrawl a bit and look inside myself. Not to worry, nothing bad, just one of those moments. I'll be back soon.

In the meantime, take a look at my beautiful Irish baby in his little jacket Auntie Teresa bought him.

Off to Cali next week, write when I get back.

Perfect Day

Have you had one of those days lately? The day where you are so at peace and happy that you lay in bed at night and say your prayer, not to ask for something, but to only give thanks? "Thanks for this moment, this peace, this life. Thank you." I had one of those days on my birthday. I wasn't very enthusiastic about my birthday this year as I normally am. With Hayden being sick last weekend, I lost a week in there some where. Next thing I knew, it was upon us. On my birthday it was almost 75 degrees here. My family and I went downtown, went to lunch, walked through King Street (all the shops) and I was able to go in any store I wanted with no complaint. Robert and Hayden patiently waiting as I looked over all the pretty stuff. We then went and walked through the downtown streets and looked at all the houses. It was a day of enjoying the outdoors, our great city and our family. I couldn't have had a better birthday. A lot has changed in the last year, but I wouldn't ever want to go back. Welcome 31! I wish us a good year.

California Dreaming

I must be subconsciously getting ready for my trip to California in a few weeks. Dave Matthews has entered my iPod again. He'd been gone for a LONG time, but now it seems he's back. (I just downloaded- The Idea of You. I really like it.) I had to stop listening to DMB for awhile. I listened to them so much while in California, I need a little distance. I also sat here listening again and remembering the time I was close to the front row in the SF Giants Stadium at their concert. The song would end and a wave of applause would start at the back of the stadium, roll slowly to the front. I would just stand there and absorb it. A feeling (and concert) I'll never forget. A special thanks to the dear (and terribly missed) friend who took me. Thank you for showing me so many wonderful things.

Enjoy your memories, take a moment to think about a moment when you were truly amazed. Have a great week.