because this all happened while were were here and only a few miles from us (both the fire and the town of Summerville). Grab the tissues.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Feeling Absolute Love
A few of the hugs I've received I will remember for my lifetime. The general feeling of a hug is so great, but these hugs made me feel so absolutely loved, secure and full.
Any hug from my parents make me feel that way. The hug I received from Teresa while I was living in San Francisco is one of those that is up there on my list. I was out there for a few years with no visitors and NEEDED to have someone who knew me to visit. She stepped off the plane and the wave of relief and joy as she hugged me and I just cried out of happiness. That hug which to me lasted a good five minutes (though it probably didn't), was exactly what I needed and it came from the perfect person.
Another one that I will remember is when my dad had his heart attack. Robert and I were engaged at the time. I was at home for lunch about to head back to work when I got the call that he was taken to the hospital. My little Honda never cornered so well. I called Robert at work and told him that I didn't know what was happening, to stay put (no need to come to the hospital as I'm superwoman) and would call him. After about 15 minutes seeing my dad in pain and panic, I stood there alone wishing I had someone to just be there, I wasn't strong enough to handle this on my own. When they got him stable and off to surgery, I took my broken self to the waiting room to see my future husband standing there with open arms. I needed that hug from him. I felt secure and that this person would be there with those amazing hugs for the rest of my life.
I received a new hug that goes on this list. My son learned how to give a hug this week. He wraps his arms around your neck, puts his cheek on your cheek, and squeezes with all his might. It's not a 2 second hug, it's a "I love you with all my soul" hug and he means every second of it. He was up most of the night the other night, which is not new in our house. As I rocked him and said, "come on it's been three hours, go to sleep", he reached around my neck and squeezed. It was totally worth the lack of sleep to know that that hug game me greatest feeling of absolute genuine love.
Give someone a hug today. Not a two second one, a stop your world, your mind, think of the other person and hold on tight. Chances are, the love you feel for that person will come through without a word. It's so simple yet, we don't do it enough. Try it, you'll probably get the same in return.
Any hug from my parents make me feel that way. The hug I received from Teresa while I was living in San Francisco is one of those that is up there on my list. I was out there for a few years with no visitors and NEEDED to have someone who knew me to visit. She stepped off the plane and the wave of relief and joy as she hugged me and I just cried out of happiness. That hug which to me lasted a good five minutes (though it probably didn't), was exactly what I needed and it came from the perfect person.
Another one that I will remember is when my dad had his heart attack. Robert and I were engaged at the time. I was at home for lunch about to head back to work when I got the call that he was taken to the hospital. My little Honda never cornered so well. I called Robert at work and told him that I didn't know what was happening, to stay put (no need to come to the hospital as I'm superwoman) and would call him. After about 15 minutes seeing my dad in pain and panic, I stood there alone wishing I had someone to just be there, I wasn't strong enough to handle this on my own. When they got him stable and off to surgery, I took my broken self to the waiting room to see my future husband standing there with open arms. I needed that hug from him. I felt secure and that this person would be there with those amazing hugs for the rest of my life.
I received a new hug that goes on this list. My son learned how to give a hug this week. He wraps his arms around your neck, puts his cheek on your cheek, and squeezes with all his might. It's not a 2 second hug, it's a "I love you with all my soul" hug and he means every second of it. He was up most of the night the other night, which is not new in our house. As I rocked him and said, "come on it's been three hours, go to sleep", he reached around my neck and squeezed. It was totally worth the lack of sleep to know that that hug game me greatest feeling of absolute genuine love.
Give someone a hug today. Not a two second one, a stop your world, your mind, think of the other person and hold on tight. Chances are, the love you feel for that person will come through without a word. It's so simple yet, we don't do it enough. Try it, you'll probably get the same in return.
Monday, November 24, 2008
It's Getting Hot In Here
Conference is over and I had Friday off to recuperate. Hayden came down with a bug on Saturday and wasn't feeling quite himself. Sunday, Robert and I went kitchen stove hunting as ours is on the fritz. We came back to find Grandma Rosie rocking a very hot and lethargic baby with a concerned look. "He's 102". I evaluate the situation and we start the fun part of our weekend and today. He was up and down last night, not out of pain or his normal "I don't feel good" cry, but more of a "this isn't good" lethargic baby. Grandma came over again this morning to keep him while I went to work. I got a call from Robert about 30 minutes later saying that he had woken up and was really, really hot. 103.4. I lose my breath. He said that she had given him some Motrin and was waiting for it to go down, but I was to be on stand-by in case it increased. I packed up my stuff and headed for home.
I got there and the fever had gone down slightly, but he was still not looking good. That was probably because he's also got pink eye on top of it all. I called the Doctor and made an appointment. He's got a double ear infection. He's had plenty in his short life, but this one came on with no cries, no ear pulling, just fever. Got home and relaxed by sleeping together in a chair. Robert came home around dinner time and I attempted to give Hayden another round of Motrin as his fever was starting to get high again. Checked his temperature, 102. He wouldn't take the Motrin so I tipped him back slightly and shot it into his mouth, which he immediately gagged and threw up a bit. Robert and I wondered if he got any. He didn't, we were now at 102.8. Called the Doctor's office and asked for them to call us back and let us know if we could give him another dose. Waited the 30 minutes, 103.4. Robert looked at me and I said, draw a cool bath, we've got to get him cooled down, 104. Bath, screams, cries, Doctor calls, give him a dose of Tylenol and wait, 104. If he reaches 104, you need to take him to the ER. "He IS 104". We wait a few minutes, 103..dress him in his pjs, 102, 101, sleep.
We've had an exciting few days. We're at a new level of stress and anxiety. Being a parent sure can challenge you in ways you never knew and show your strengths and weaknesses in the rawest way. I wouldn't change it for the world because in these times, I find out more about myself and my husband. I find that we're a great team and together...we can do just about anything.
I got there and the fever had gone down slightly, but he was still not looking good. That was probably because he's also got pink eye on top of it all. I called the Doctor and made an appointment. He's got a double ear infection. He's had plenty in his short life, but this one came on with no cries, no ear pulling, just fever. Got home and relaxed by sleeping together in a chair. Robert came home around dinner time and I attempted to give Hayden another round of Motrin as his fever was starting to get high again. Checked his temperature, 102. He wouldn't take the Motrin so I tipped him back slightly and shot it into his mouth, which he immediately gagged and threw up a bit. Robert and I wondered if he got any. He didn't, we were now at 102.8. Called the Doctor's office and asked for them to call us back and let us know if we could give him another dose. Waited the 30 minutes, 103.4. Robert looked at me and I said, draw a cool bath, we've got to get him cooled down, 104. Bath, screams, cries, Doctor calls, give him a dose of Tylenol and wait, 104. If he reaches 104, you need to take him to the ER. "He IS 104". We wait a few minutes, 103..dress him in his pjs, 102, 101, sleep.
We've had an exciting few days. We're at a new level of stress and anxiety. Being a parent sure can challenge you in ways you never knew and show your strengths and weaknesses in the rawest way. I wouldn't change it for the world because in these times, I find out more about myself and my husband. I find that we're a great team and together...we can do just about anything.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Made It
It's been a long week and technically, today is my Saturday (though I'm at work) since I don't think I stopped working last week. Our company put on a conference this week for our clients. Over 1,000 clients came from all over to enjoy sessions, product news, etc. I was in charge of scheduling and managing over 120 volunteers (all co-workers).
I have not seen my family much this week as I have been working 17 hour days since Sunday. I'm worn out, but happy that it was a success. My darling husband was on daddy duty all week, getting the baby dressed, ready for school, dropping him off, picking him up, feeding, bathing and putting him to bed. This is normally my job (with his help, of course). He did it with such grace that I couldn't be more proud. The baby was very happy to be with his dad so much and also my parents. They were a big help too. They hosted Robert and Hayden a few nights for dinner and mom even kept Hayden one day this week. It made me feel really great to have a huge support system around when I couldn't be around. Robert through this experience has gotten a great appreciation for my commute, the routine and how exhausting it can be.
My life stopped this week while I got through conference. I had to do listen to the news today, which I usually avoid, just to figure out what I had missed. I missed my family very much and am looking forward to spending the weekend with them.
Also, a bit of great news. My friend Teresa is closing on her house tomorrow! Congratulations to her on buying her first house. Sister, you were still and heard it. See? The tide will always turn. Good things ahead!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
A Good Laugh
I laughed pretty hard, maybe you have to have kids to find it so comical, I don't know.
A Thanksgiving Moment from Catholic Media House on Vimeo.
A Thanksgiving Moment from Catholic Media House on Vimeo.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Preserverance
Where to begin? How about beginning with a book? I've read a book that I randomly picked up at the library as Hayden pushed the step stool through the aisles. I grabbed and now, I think it was a sign from God. It's called Sacred Parenting. For a few weeks I have been feeling stretched by obligations both in my home and especially outside of it. Every parent feels this and I am no exception. It's lack of sleep and lack of time, really. I have been doing some soul searching in what I want for my life as a mother and wife and for my family. This book gave me the perspective I needed. It made me realize that it is not about me, it's about raising Hayden to the best of my ability. Not to have him say please and thank you, though that is nice. It's about raising him to be a good person who when is called, will be able to stand in front of Him and be welcomed. How to do this, is up to Robert and I (with guidance of course).
A few weeks ago, after a particularly frustrating morning, I found myself driving to work and broke down. Again, lack of sleep, frustration- being pulled in too many directions. It lasted a few seconds, I said a prayer and it was over. As I pulled in Hayden's daycare parking lot, I stopped and looked in my rear view mirror. I saw a mom, who must have had a frustrating morning with her own son. He waited by the side of the car as she was reaching in to get something. He was off in thought (about 2 years old) and she turned, grabbed his hand and started quickly walking in to the daycare. He wasn't paying attention so she grabbed his hand, he had to take a few quick steps to catch up. Every parent has done this before, stretched by time, hurrying up to get the current job done (dropping at daycare) to get the next one done. Seeing this, my stomach hurt. I was becoming that person (not that she's a bad person). I was becoming the person who dropped off while thinking of what faced me at work, not cherishing the few moments I had with Hayden. Being good for him and showing him that I'm happy with him. I didn't want to become this person. I wanted to not be frustrated with a child who doesn't understand frustration or why I am frustrated (he will assume it's him, not the reality that it's something else). He is just being innocent and good and he gets a stressed mom who isn't living in the moment, but focusing on the next thing.
A few days later I randomly picked up this book. The book spoke to me and change my way of thinking. We, as parents, are blessed with these children and it's not easy. They challenge us, frustrate us, but bless us in more ways than imaginable. We have a lot to learn from them as they teach us so much about ourselves and our relationship with God. They bring you to your knees out of thankfulness, fear, pleasure and pain. They are a gift and I, personally, have made a promise to myself and my child that I will live each moment with him to its fullest. My frustration (whether with him or with life), will not be shown as a constant (sure it's going to happen). I'm going to look at him as he's screaming or going boneless as a gift from God and take each moment as a challenge for me to grow as a person and persevere though whatever life gives me.
A few weeks ago, after a particularly frustrating morning, I found myself driving to work and broke down. Again, lack of sleep, frustration- being pulled in too many directions. It lasted a few seconds, I said a prayer and it was over. As I pulled in Hayden's daycare parking lot, I stopped and looked in my rear view mirror. I saw a mom, who must have had a frustrating morning with her own son. He waited by the side of the car as she was reaching in to get something. He was off in thought (about 2 years old) and she turned, grabbed his hand and started quickly walking in to the daycare. He wasn't paying attention so she grabbed his hand, he had to take a few quick steps to catch up. Every parent has done this before, stretched by time, hurrying up to get the current job done (dropping at daycare) to get the next one done. Seeing this, my stomach hurt. I was becoming that person (not that she's a bad person). I was becoming the person who dropped off while thinking of what faced me at work, not cherishing the few moments I had with Hayden. Being good for him and showing him that I'm happy with him. I didn't want to become this person. I wanted to not be frustrated with a child who doesn't understand frustration or why I am frustrated (he will assume it's him, not the reality that it's something else). He is just being innocent and good and he gets a stressed mom who isn't living in the moment, but focusing on the next thing.
A few days later I randomly picked up this book. The book spoke to me and change my way of thinking. We, as parents, are blessed with these children and it's not easy. They challenge us, frustrate us, but bless us in more ways than imaginable. We have a lot to learn from them as they teach us so much about ourselves and our relationship with God. They bring you to your knees out of thankfulness, fear, pleasure and pain. They are a gift and I, personally, have made a promise to myself and my child that I will live each moment with him to its fullest. My frustration (whether with him or with life), will not be shown as a constant (sure it's going to happen). I'm going to look at him as he's screaming or going boneless as a gift from God and take each moment as a challenge for me to grow as a person and persevere though whatever life gives me.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
A the speed of light
It's been a long time since I've posted. We've had so much going on these days, it seems as though my life is moving at the speed of light. I know that every parent with small children feel this way. Our life is no different. We had Halloween and Hayden was a lion. True to form, he wore the head of the lion for about two seconds before pulling it off. He went to our neighbors house where they bought him a few books instead of candy. Good thinking. I haven't been able to upload the pictures yet, but hope to do that soon.
It's been a strange few days since the time change. I think we're all trying to adjust. Last night we got home and our power went out right after we got done making dinner. I shut off the burners and BOOM the lights went out. Robert stood away from me and I couldn't see anything. I said, "um...where is Hayden?" Robert said, "I saw him across the kitchen a minute ago." "Hayden?" Putting my hands towards the floor feeling. "Baby? Where are you?" I hear footsteps and walk towards them, get licked by the dog who was obviously telling me she was fine. "Get off me dog! Hayden?" I hear giggles and then find the boy standing perfetly still right there he was when the lights went off. We ate by candle light and I read for a few hours before the lights came on. I had million things to do before going to bed, but took it as a sign that God wanted me to get some rest. Today I'm glad we did.
It's been a strange few days since the time change. I think we're all trying to adjust. Last night we got home and our power went out right after we got done making dinner. I shut off the burners and BOOM the lights went out. Robert stood away from me and I couldn't see anything. I said, "um...where is Hayden?" Robert said, "I saw him across the kitchen a minute ago." "Hayden?" Putting my hands towards the floor feeling. "Baby? Where are you?" I hear footsteps and walk towards them, get licked by the dog who was obviously telling me she was fine. "Get off me dog! Hayden?" I hear giggles and then find the boy standing perfetly still right there he was when the lights went off. We ate by candle light and I read for a few hours before the lights came on. I had million things to do before going to bed, but took it as a sign that God wanted me to get some rest. Today I'm glad we did.
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