Brighter Than Sunshine

It seems lately I've felt a dark cloud over me. Mostly, it is exhaustion and frustration with the baby not sleeping and constantly feeding. These last few days have changed and now I feel the sunshine peeking out of the clouds. The last few days, Hayden has slept for 4 hour intervals at first then up every two hours after that. This has made me feel almost human again. A four hour interval of sleep allows me to wake up and feel rejuvenated. I know most are saying, four hours? Yes, it's a large chunk of time. Before I was getting up every hour and a half- all night long. I can look at Hayden and know what he wants when he cries. We're working hard on getting him to accept a bottle and this too had helped. It's a challenge each day, but I can feel the dark cloud exiting and the sunshine entering again in to my world.

A hard realization and entered my thoughts though. Only 6 weeks left and I'll return to work and Hayden will enter daycare. This topic has been a hard one between Robert and I. Neither of us wants to put him in daycare, but if I'm going back to work, we don't have a choice. It will be hard to leave him with strangers, but honestly I look forward to a break and getting back to work. Another part of me is in such a routine and a comfort with staying home that I wonder if I couldn't just stay home with him. I think every parent has these same mixed feelings on the topic.

We're starting to get ready for Hayden's baptism which is mid-September. We have about 20 people who will be attending including many family members and family flying in for the occasion. It will be great to have everyone here for such a big and important event. However, part of me dreads it because I know that is the last hurrah and a few weeks later, I'm back at work. SIGH. One day at a time, God will show us what we're to do.